Feelings are the road map… never the destination
. When I forget and stop at the feelings, I can easily slip into resentment and start rehearsing the hurt or disappointment over and over again. I abandon myself and look to the actions of others for the solutions to my pain.
When I remember, I let my feelings guide me to unmet needs where I am responsible for the solution.
It may look different that I imagined, and there may be some grieving to do, but the power for healing and moving forward is back in my hands!
Recently I found myself dwelling on the dishonest and mean behaviors of someone. I was really getting agitated… well really I was getting downright angry. I imagine that if they were in front of me I could have thrown a punch. As the tension in my body started to give me a headache, I woke up.
I took three breaths and empathized with myself… and I started to calm down. The inner dialogue started to shift from “them versus me” to “me and me.”
My need for honesty and integrity are huge. The actions of this person bump up against my needs time and time again. I know that I cannot force them to be honest… Am I being honest? Ahhh. The anger just shifted to fear.
There is fear about being honest. If I am honest and ask for what I want, then a third party may have some consequences. This is where the sword enters my heart. I do not want to be the cause of pain for anyone. I think I hit the core…
I want to protect and defend the ones I love, even if protecting them means I hurt myself.
I have another choice to make, but now it is clear that this is MY struggle. MY choices and MY behavior are causing me pain. The trigger person is simply my best teacher right now… showing me where my work is.
So, the feelings are my road map guiding me back to myself.
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