Anger is an honest human emotion. We use it to mobilize into constructive action and make great things happen. When anger acts to create good, it an awesome tool. (Ray Calabrese)
For so many years, I thought “good girls don’t get angry.” I thought is so much that it became a core belief – those unconscious beliefs that dictate a lot of my behavior.
Who told me that? Everybody! From parents to teachers to girlfriends, everyone shooshed my anger with quick fixes or admonishments. I heard I should be grateful so many times that I started saying it to myself. And I said it to myself so often that I lost my barometer.
Our society is afraid of anger, and unfortunately, because we do not learn its value, we do not learn to express it in a way that the longing underneath has a voice. We learn to suppress it …and sometimes it explodes.
Exploding anger does not have to be loud. It can also be so quiet, and when it is turned inward, it is called depression.
Learning how to value our anger is critical to intimate communication. Anger says, “Whoa! This is not working. Something is going on that I do not like. What am I missing here?”
It is an opportunity. An opportunity to get to know yourself a little better, and an opportunity to ask for what you want. The other day I found myself complaining about what someone was doing that was bothering me. Silently I brewed. And then all of a sudden, I remembered.
And I asked. And I received. Amazingly simple.
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