Typically we think of feelings of anger, fear, sadness and such as “bad” feelings. Happiness, joy and the like are considered “good” feelings. I have come to believe that all feelings are “good” because they tell me what is going on.
The other day I was angry about what someone did. I was very angry. I was angry in a way that was uncomfortable to say the least, especially since I did not want my anger to harm anyone in my family. I didn’t want it to come out sideways if someone left a wet towel on the hardwood floors or spilled their cereal on the rug. So I called a friend and asked if I could just rant for a few minutes. I needed to get it out of my body so my jaw would unlock and my fists unclench.
Expressing the anger in a safe way helped it move through my body, and I felt the shift. And as I ranted, was heard completely, there was a moment- a palpable moment- when my body shifted. The sadness and fear underneath my anger came up to the surface and I cried.
Sitting with the sadness and fear brought healing. I was able to imagine all kinds of possibilities that before remained hidden. Hidden because my focus was on the other person and everything they were doing wrong. When the focus shifted to me, which is what happens when we listen to our feelings, then I could see I had choices… lots of choices.
So anger is not bad. Sadness is not bad. They may not feel good, but they can show me what I want and how I might get there. If I listen.
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