Shame Monster The Shame Monster lives in my closet and he looks like Jabba the Hut. How do I know he’s there? I know he’s there, because I start feeling all slimy. I have no real reason to keep some of the things taking up space behind the closet door. I don’t wear them or… Continue Reading
Paying Attention to Access Wisdom
When we listen to ourselves, we can hear our own wisdom. Continue Reading
10 Things I Know About Divorce
It’s my divorce, and I get to own my decisions. Continue Reading
Wow!
Listening sometimes involves a focused effort, and may involve biting your tongue. I came up with a word, “wow”, that I used to remind me to bite my tongue. Continue Reading
Power With is Love
Power With means we get to figure this out in a way thats a win-win. Not a compromise where we each get to share 50% of the resentment. Continue Reading
How to Manage A Conflict using NVC
Feeling frustrated or anxious? Your feelings are telling you that there is an unmet need waiting to be addressed, and you can uncover your need using a simple process called Nonviolent Communication. Here’s how it works… 1. Identify what happened like a news reporter. Lay out the facts, nothing but the facts. 2. Pay attention… Continue Reading
Empathy-A Shift in Perception
I was in a mediation yesterday with a young couple trying to make their relationship work, and their difficulties seemed almost universal. Their arguments were over substance-situations that cropped up on a daily basis. She was very organized and scheduled. She had a way to do everything and cared deeply about how their child was… Continue Reading
Brain Drain
Aggression causes Brain Drain. Even minor rudeness impacts our job performance, according to a recent study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology, because we expend so much energy trying to figure out what the heck is going on. Why are they angry? Was it something I did? How can I stop it? We use… Continue Reading
What Do You Want?
Empathy can unhook us from the story of our past so we can answer the question for ourselves. Continue Reading
Mediating the Fiscal Cliff?
I appreciate David Logan’s simple application of negotiation principles to the political process in his article, “Fiscal cliff negotiations show how not to make a deal.” Well worth a read… Continue Reading
