I recently found myself in a conflict situation, and I experienced firsthand what happens when there is no empathy. We had some items stolen by a young man that worked for our contractor. The evidence was clear and indisputable, so I called the contractor to inform him of what we knew. His response led to… Continue Reading
Empathy Takes Conflict in Another Direction
I recently found myself in a conflict situation, and I experienced firsthand what happens when there is no empathy. We had some items stolen by a young man that worked for our contractor. The evidence was clear and indisputable, so I called the contractor to inform him of what we knew. His response led to… Continue Reading
Compassion and Care
I mediated a divorce the other day that lingers with me…. A very young couple, married only five years, decided to divorce. They cared deeply for one another, yet living together was undermining their care. They loved each other and wanted to divorce. “It just isn’t working,” she said. He agreed. They were somewhat embarrassed… Continue Reading
Are There any Bad Feelings?
Typically we think of feelings of anger, fear, sadness and such as “bad” feelings. Happiness, joy and the like are considered “good” feelings. I have come to believe that all feelings are “good” because they tell me what is going on. The other day I was angry about what someone did. I was very angry.… Continue Reading
Empathy Can Be Learned
Steve Taylor writes about human psychology, and he writes very well. This article over at Psychology Today, “Empathy: The Ability that Makes us Truly Human” is well worth a read. He speaks about Restorative Justice, yet everything he finds is also true for mediation. Enjoy! Continue Reading
Informed Consent
Informed consent is a legal, ethical, and moral standard that is of great importance in divorce. It can be defined as voluntary consent based on a full understanding of all of the information disclosed. What does this mean in divorce? It means that there is a presumption that you know the value of the assets… Continue Reading
Empathy in the Workplace
Empathy in the workplace is gaining more and more attention, and that is a good thing. As a “whole brain” person- 48% left brain and 52% right brain, I know how I respond to life when one side is more engaged than the other. My left brain, for example, takes over when I am crunching… Continue Reading
Here we go round the Mulberry bush
I recently left a mediation with this song playing in my brain. The mediation did not end in a signed agreement… and that’s okay. One of the parties was absolutely not ready to complete the division of their property. “She does not deserve anything!” he repeated. “She had an affair!” My co-mediator and I would… Continue Reading
Empathy Matters
In his article about the terrorist attacks on Mumbai’s historic Taj Hotel, Alix Spiegel shares that the employees risked their lives to care for the safety and security of the guests. It was not just one employee, but “dozens of workers — waiters and busboys, and room cleaners who knew back exits and paths through… Continue Reading
The Raven and the Dove
I often see parties spending time and energy trying to prove the other wrong. The belief seems to be, “they must be wrong for me to be right.” Sadly, the legal system promotes this kind of thinking. Build your case. Prove your story so it will trump the other story. This focuses our attention in… Continue Reading
