A relationship becomes easier when you realize that you don’t have to be the one at fault to be the one who’s sorry. ~Robert Brault I was recently facilitating a mediation with a lovely couple who had several years of conflict under their belts… big conflicts involving Orders of Protection and such. I spent about… Continue Reading
I think therefore I am
Great article over at Psych Central called “7 Steps to Develop Awareness of Your Feelings and Thoughts” by Athena Staik, Ph.D. Very simply, you want to become aware of what you tell yourself inside so that you—rather than your emotions—direct your choices. Your happiness depends on it. THE STEPS 1. Select a triggering situation to… Continue Reading
Get Vulnerable…Get Real
I see it often. Individuals hold on to their story for fear they will be “less than.” I love this article from the Brain Alchemist, “Vulnerability doesn’t mean victimhood.” I love the name of their site too! I am reminded of The Alchemist, by Paulo Coelho. The book is an allegory telling us, “When you… Continue Reading
Mediation in the News
The American Bar Association is promoting “mediation “and other voluntary collaborative dispute resolution processes” as “effective alternatives to litigation and court trials.” As part of their official Mediation Week, they are working with lawyers, law students and bar groups to “highlight mediation as a model for peaceful and effective dispute resolution.” Continue Reading
The Pain Body
I just completed a 2 hour mediation… well it’s more accurate to say that after 2 hours, the mediation abruptly ended when one party bolted from the room. Her pain and fear was triggered, and she could hardly stay in her body. For sure she could not stay in the room. My experience is that… Continue Reading
The Heart of the Matter
Miracles happen. As a mediator I get to see it happen. I get to watch when the shift in perception happens- when the body relaxes into itself and connects to the heart of the matter. It is a beautiful thing. What I know is that we all have this longing to be known. To be… Continue Reading
Gratitude
I sit in my morning chair With the sun at my back Shining it’s light on all that life has put before me. I can see the empty spaces as losses, Or I can see them as opportunities To create Who I am In this world. (11/4/2007) Continue Reading
Balanced Calendar … Balanced Parenting Plans
Metro Nashville Public Schools voted to change our system to the Balanced Calendar, and as a Mediator in the family system I thought, “holy cow.” All divorced families with children in public schools will now get to amend their Parenting Plans to include 2 weeks of Fall Break, two weeks of Spring Break, and only… Continue Reading
Empathy
I recently mediated a case and was so struck by the parties’ need for empathy. They both wanted the exact same thing but and struggled to come up with the details of how to make it happen. Their past hurts were sitting in the middle of the table like a neon sign creating a wall… Continue Reading
What’s my need here?
We go through our days without an Instruction Manual. There is no referee to let us know when we hit the ball outside the lines or jump off sides. We learn, because we experience the consequences, and the learning is not always pretty. NVC gives me these simple instructions for communicating for connection. The more… Continue Reading
