I often see parties spending time and energy trying to prove the other wrong. The belief seems to be, “they must be wrong for me to be right.” Sadly, the legal system promotes this kind of thinking. Build your case. Prove your story so it will trump the other story. This focuses our attention in… Continue Reading
Browsing CategoryMediation
The Power of Apology
A relationship becomes easier when you realize that you don’t have to be the one at fault to be the one who’s sorry. ~Robert Brault I was recently facilitating a mediation with a lovely couple who had several years of conflict under their belts… big conflicts involving Orders of Protection and such. I spent about… Continue Reading
Mediation in the News
The American Bar Association is promoting “mediation “and other voluntary collaborative dispute resolution processes” as “effective alternatives to litigation and court trials.” As part of their official Mediation Week, they are working with lawyers, law students and bar groups to “highlight mediation as a model for peaceful and effective dispute resolution.” Continue Reading
The Pain Body
I just completed a 2 hour mediation… well it’s more accurate to say that after 2 hours, the mediation abruptly ended when one party bolted from the room. Her pain and fear was triggered, and she could hardly stay in her body. For sure she could not stay in the room. My experience is that… Continue Reading
The Heart of the Matter
Miracles happen. As a mediator I get to see it happen. I get to watch when the shift in perception happens- when the body relaxes into itself and connects to the heart of the matter. It is a beautiful thing. What I know is that we all have this longing to be known. To be… Continue Reading
Balanced Calendar … Balanced Parenting Plans
Metro Nashville Public Schools voted to change our system to the Balanced Calendar, and as a Mediator in the family system I thought, “holy cow.” All divorced families with children in public schools will now get to amend their Parenting Plans to include 2 weeks of Fall Break, two weeks of Spring Break, and only… Continue Reading
Empathy
I recently mediated a case and was so struck by the parties’ need for empathy. They both wanted the exact same thing but and struggled to come up with the details of how to make it happen. Their past hurts were sitting in the middle of the table like a neon sign creating a wall… Continue Reading
Mediating Your Future Together
I absolutely love it when someone puts words together so simply to describe something that can seem so complicated! Tammy Lenski’s description is so clear, so I stole it and put it here. Thanks Tammy! In court cases, settlement agreements reached through mediation signal the end of the litigation. But in conflict between people who… Continue Reading
Power Struggles
This photo reminds me of the legal system. Parties spend a lot of time and energy making their case – building their story of how they are better or more deserving or more right than the other. They pay an attorney to argue their case to a judge, then the judge gets to decide… Continue Reading
