If I give up on half of what I want to make someone else happy or to avoid negative consequences, the results are short-lived, and we each get to share 50% of the leftover resentment.
A shift in needs is different. If I am giving to you because it makes me happy to contribute to your life, then I am fully aware of the choice as a choice to meet a need. Do I want the last of the ice cream? Or do I want to give it to you? Which need is calling to me most loudly right now? My choice is based on weighing the results for me!
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